The Future Is Almost Here.

Hey everybody. Guess what. It’s 2014. That means it’s just one more year until our cars can fly and run on trash. We’re so close to the future that I can just taste it. But since we’re still stuck in the now, we’ll just have to keep driving around on our shitty streets and filling our cars with our shitty petroleum. Seriously. One. More. Year. Self-lacing shoes… Pizza Hydration Machines… that snotty kid with Elija Wood telling us that our video games are like a baby’s toy… Jaws 19… We’re so close. But while we’re waiting, we’ve got all kinds of awesome things lined up for this interim year, and we can’t wait to show you our stuff (not our junk…….. maybe our junk).

Before we get deep up in the future of the present, I’d like to do a quick rundown of a few of the awesome things we did in 2013. We went to Australia, released Terminator The Second soundtrack and movie, played a show with Andrew W.K., drank lots of Mexican Cokes, and played lots of other fancy shows. There were, of course, other awesome things in 2013, but Mexican Cokes sort of beat them all out for mailer real estate. Better luck next 2013, other awesome things…

Speaking of Australia… if you haven’t gotten your Australian Merch already, you’d better get on it quick. Most of that stuff is about to disappear for good. It’s still on sale with a 30% markdown, so now’s the best time to get it before it’s gone forever. I don’t see nearly enough Protomen Mad Max Kangaroo Camp shirts in the wild… I’m just saying. And remember, you don’t have to be in Australia to use this store, you just have to have an internet. This is your last chance.

THE GOON.
In 2009 we played a super bad ass 10 year anniversary party-celebration-show at Cannery Ballroom, for our friend Eric Powell’s super bad ass comic, The Goon. If you don’t know about The Goon, you should probably get to knowing about The Goon. Did you read all of that link and internet order all of his books? Good… we can carry on then. Well, it’s been 5 years since that fateful night, making it now the 15 year anniversary of his super bad ass comic that you now know all about (right?). So what do you think is gonna happen next? Take a guess……. No, we’re not going on a Billy Ocean themed Caribbean cruise (although I wish we were)….. We’re having another anniversary party-celebration-show!!! And guess where it’s gonna be? That’s right! Cannery Ballroom. And guess what else?? Our unashamedly Texan friends, Urizen, will be there with us! Before the show gets started, there’s gonna be a one hour meet and greet with us and Eric from 7-8pm, so get there early and we’ll sign your boobs. Eric will also be showing off an all new sneak peak of his David Fincher produced Goon major motion picture that night, so don’t miss it! We’ll also have an Eric Powell-drawn limited edition poster for sale at the show, so don’t forget to grab one.

MARCH
08th – Nashville, TN – Cannery Ballroom (Goon 15th Anniversary)

15th_POSTER_b

*not the limited edition poster that will be available at the show.

This is more than likely the only show that we’ll be playing before June for the following reason/s…

WARPED TOUR US & CANADA 2014
If you’re a twitter savvy type, you’ve probably noticed a lot of talk about us playing Warped Tour this year. Well, it’s officially official. We’re playing all 42 dates of Warped Tour this summer. It’s going to be one grueling hellride, but it’s going to be the most fun grueling hellride any of us have ever been on. 42 days of summertime pain. See you there!

JUNE
13th – Houston, TX – Reliant Center Parking Lot
14th – San Antonio, TX – AT&T Center
15th – Dallas, TX – Gexa Energy Pavilion
17th – Albuquerque, NM – Isleta Amphitheater
18th – Mesa, AZ – Quail Run Park
19th – Las Vegas, NV – Luxor Lot
20th – Pomona, CA – Pomona Fairplex
21st – Mountain View, CA – Shoreline Amphitheatre
22nd – Ventura, CA – Seaside Park
25th – Chula Vista, CA – Sleep Train Amphitheatre
26th – Wheatland, CA – Sleep Train Amphitheatre
28th – Southeast Auburn, WA – White River Amphitheater
29th – Portland, OR – Portland Expo Center Parking Lot

JULY
02nd – Maryland Heights, MO – Verizon Wireless Amphitheater
03rd – Noblesville, IN – Klipsch Music Center
04th – Toronto, ON – Molson Canadian Amphitheatre
05th – Montreal, QC – Parc Jean Drapeau
06th – Holmdel, NJ – PNC Bank Arts Concert Center
08th – Darien Center, NY – Darien Lake Performing Arts Center
09th – Scranton, PA – Toyota Pavilion
10th – Mansfield, MA – Xfinity Center (formerly Comcast Center)
11th – Camden, NJ – Susquehanna Bank Center
12th – Wantagh, NY – Nikon at Jones Beach Amphitheater
13th – Hartford, CT – Xfinity Theatre (Formerly Comcast Theatre)
15th – Burgettstown, PA – First Niagara Pavilion
16th – Cincinnati, OH – Riverbend Music Center
17th – Cuyahoga Falls, OH – Blossom Music Center
18th – Auburn Hills, MI – The Palace of Auburn Hills
19th – Tinley Park, IL – First Midwest Bank Amphitheatre
20th – Shakopee, MN – Canterbury Park
22nd – Columbia, MD – Merriweather Post Pavilion
23rd – Virginia Beach, VA – Farm Bureau Live At Virginia Beach
24th – Atlanta, GA – Aaron’s Amphitheatre at Lakewood
25th – St. Petersburg, FL – Vinoy Park
26th – West Palm Beach, FL – Cruzan Amphitheatre
27th – Orlando, FL – Central Florida Fairgrounds
28th – Charlotte, NC – PNC Music Pavilion Charlotte
29th – Nashville, TN – Tennessee State Fairgrounds
30th – Milwaukee, WI – Marcus Amphitheatre
31st – Bonner Springs, KS – Cricket Wireless Amphitheater

AUGUST
02nd – Salt Lake City, UT – Utah State Fairpark
03rd – Denver, CO – Sports Authority Field at Mile High

CHARLES PARK TRILOGY
In other exciting news, Makeup And Vanity Set just released his Charles Park compact disc collection today. The first 100 copies sold get all kinds of awesome things, like an amazing new John DeLucca drawn poster and super fancy packaging design by Caspar Newbolt, buttons based off the artwork, and remixes of several jams. One of those jams is a new version of “Search The Night,” and it features vocals by our very own Raul Panther and guitar work by Sir Robert Bakker. This is the first time these albums have been available in physical form, so don’t blow it for yourself by thinking you can just pick them up later, because who knows how long they’ll last? More info HERE.

Holy shit, this is a big mailer. I think it has to take the record for longest mailer so far (someone go check that, and then we’ll have an awards ceremony). I swear the next one will be shorter… or will it??!

-Commander

 

FROM BLACK FRIDAY TO CYBORG MONDAY.

You didn’t think we wouldn’t get in on this ridiculous weekend sales action, did you? But we’re not just doing it today, oh no, we’re taking it all the way through the weekend. Black Friday, Small Business Saturday, I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter Sunday, and Cyborg Monday. I know most of you are probably coming down from a tryptophan overdose right about now (who cares if it may be a myth), but don’t sleep through these barn busters… or door burners… or whatever. Just get on these deals while the gettin’s hot.

Sound Machine Store
Nov. 29th – Dec. 2nd (Friday-Monday)
20% OFF EVERYTHING
Discount Code: cyborg20

Australia Store 
(REMEMBER: anyone in the whole wide world can order from this world wide web store, and once stuff’s gone, it’s gone)
30% OFF EVERYTHING
Discount Code: (no discount code needed. everything is discounted already)

TERMINATOR
William Shakespeare Presents: Terminator The Second is now available at the Terminator The Second website. There’s no fancy sale for it, but it’s already only $10 for the movie+soundtrack album combo, so skip that steak dinner at Western Sizzlin and pick it up ASAPOECBHIGCTYHABTA (that’s an acronym for As Soon As Possible Or Else Commander B. Hawkins Is Gonna Come To Your House And Beat That Ass). Now, with the usual threats out of the way, I’d like to give a big thanks to everybody that made it out to the release show. It was quite the jam. Speaking of the jam…

NEW YEARS EVE
On December 31st, we’re going to play our last show 2013… or is it???…… but seriously, it is. The show is at Exit/In and we’re playing with Diarrhea PlanetRi¢hie, and No Regrets Coyote. It’s going to be one hell of a show, so don’t miss it.

DECEMBER
31st – Nashville, TN – Exit/In (New Years Explosion)

Robots go shopping, too.

-Commander

 

Trick Or Treat.

So, as I sit here binging on Halloween movies (on Halloween III right now), it occurred to me that I should send out a quick mailer to get you up to date with what’s happening. So, here’s what’s happening…

As of Tuesday, the MM25: Mega Man Rocks album (featuring our brand new super hit jam, “Built To Last”) is now available from the following places: iTunes, Amazon, and Sumthing Music Works (as well as other digital outlets). You’d best buy the shit out of it before the internet runs out! Who knows… it could happen?

tsecondOST

William Shakespeare Presents: Terminator The Second (Original Soundtrack)

1. Overture
2. FutureWar (Prologue)
3. Main Title (Terminator The Second Theme)
4. T800 Cometh
5. Guitars, Cadillacs
6. T1000 Also Cometh
7. Keep Quiet (John’s Garage Mix)
8. Ride To Pescadero
9. The Chase (Part I)
10. Checking Out
11. The Long Night
12. The Road To Mexico
13. No Fate
14. But What We Make
15. The Nightmare
16. Cyberdyne Is Besieged
17. The Chase (Part II)
18. Parting Is Such Sweet Sorrow
19. Epilogue
20. Overture (Reprise)
21. Light Up The Night

ON NOVEMBER 1, 2013 at 2:14 a.m. EST, http://terminatorthesecond.com/store BECOMES SELF AWARE. That’s tonight after your trick-or-treatings!!!! Go there to download the super amazing movie of William Shakespeare Presents: Terminator the Second, as well as the accompanying super amazing soundtrack from The Protomen and 84001. You can also grab (pre-order) a movie poster and shirt, if you like being awesome.

Click me to watch the trailer right now!

Also on November 1st (tomorrow night), we will be celebrating the release at Mercy Lounge with a screening of the movie, followed by a Protomen show. We’re gonna play some jams that we’ll probably never play live again, so you’d better get your ass to mars (wrong Arnold movie reference, but I do what I want)!

Get info and let us know if you plan on going here on the Facebook.

NOVEMBER
01st – Nashville, TN – Mercy Lounge (Terminator: The Second release show)

Once more unto the breach,

-Commander

 

COMING SOON.

This is day 5 of our last tour of 2013, so I’m gonna try to keep this as short as possible.

TERMINATOR: THE SECOND
Last mailer I told you to keep your eye on the Terminator: The Second website for “something” to be announced soon. Well, that “something” is here. Husky Jackal dropped a trailer (watch it here) and release date for the “home video” version of the most amazing play (now movie) you’ll ever see. (*Spoiler Alert* We’re the swat team that shoots up Miles Dyson at the end! *Spoilers End*) HJ spent long hard hours editing together the footage from the 4 night explosion-of-awesome that happened in late 2011. And we spent long hard hours putting together the soundtrack album for you to listen to with your ears.  To those of you who saw the play live, be proud of yourself. To those of you who didn’t… well, you blew it… but don’t get too down on yourself, your time to make amends is almost at hand! On November 1st, you’ll be able to go to terminatorthesecond.com and buy a digital copy of the movie, along with our score/soundtrack album. It’s a pretty compelling package, if I do say so myself… and I do say so myself.

For those of you who want to see a special early showing of the movie (in a movie theater, no less), make your way to the Belcourt Theater in Nashville on Oct. 22nd.  And for those of you who want to get extra froggy and celebrate the release by watching the movie right before we play a super awesome rock show, make your way to Mercy Lounge on Nov. 1st. I’d recommend doing both for maximum excitement.

Speaking of Terminator: The Second (and mailing lists)… if you want to be kept up to date with all things Terminator: The Second, please sign up on their mailing list… HERE!

BUILT TO LAST
Capcom announced the release date for the MM25: Mega Man Rocks album last week, and it looks like it’s coming out soon as shit! The album will be available on October 29th from iTunes, Amazon, and several other digital stores. Our new jam, “Built To Last,” is making it’s debut there, so everybody better blast it at all your Halloween parties! Also on that album is a shiny new mix of Will Of One, and the 2012 updated version of Breaking Out that was previously only available on the now super-sold-out Drove All Night cassette single (or cassingle, for you youngsters).

OCTOBER TOUR
As I said earlier, we’re already a few days deep into this short tour, and it’s going great so far, but we only have a few shows left, so we’ve gotta make ‘em count dracula. Nerdapalooza still looms ahead, but in the mean time, we have a few shows (2 of them with our friends Bit Brigade) before we get there, and one after… so don’t miss them, because we’ll be going into extended tourbernation soon.

14th – Durham, NC - Motorco   *ALL AGES*
15th – Columbia, SC - New Brookland Tavern   *ALL AGES*
16th – Savannah, GA – The Wormhole   *21+*
18th – Gainesville, FL - High Dive   *ALL AGES*
19th – Orlando, FL - Nerdapalooza   *ALL AGES*
21st – Atlanta, GA - Vinyl   *ALL AGES*

NOVEMBER
01st – Nashville, TN – Mercy Lounge (Terminator: The Second release show)   *18+*

Come with me… if you hold your life at any price,

-Commander

 

Built To Last.

So this happened while we were at PAX.

ProtoInafune

For those of you who don’t know this is, it’s Keiji Inafune, the guy who mostly made Mega Man happen. We met him at PAX a couple of weeks ago when he was there to announce his fancy new project, Mighty No. 9. If you don’t know what Mighty No. 9 is, go check it out, support the cause, and then tell them we sent you.

That’s not the only exciting thing that happened at PAX… We unveiled a new jam at our show called “Built To Last.” And before you try to decipher the lyrics and start thinking that Act III is about how Tommy Light just bought a himself a ’67 Camaro SS and just picked up Mega Man at the edge of the city and they ride off into the sunset together on a quest to pick up chicks… that’s not what this is about. We wrote this jam to go on the MM25: Mega Man Rocks 25th anniversary album that was just announced on Wednesday by Capcom. However, it is just as much part of our world as “Beards Going Nowhere“… and that’s a whole other amazing jam. Big thanks to Brett Elston at Capcom-Unity.com for working his ass of to make this happen. And for all you artist types out there who want to take a shot at creating the album’s cover art… go here. No specific date has been announced, but you can expect it in “The Fall”… you see what I did there? I made a joke. If you want to hear a super chopped-up ADHD :45 second clip of the studio version of “Built To Last,” check out this fresh WIRED article/interview that dropped yesterday. Let them know you read the article… go the classy route and get into an internet comment argument, or something.

OCTOBER TOUR
This will be our last tour of 2013. Make sure you don’t skip out on any shows, because if all goes according to plan, we’ll be staying off the road as much as possible next year so we can start kicking some ass in the studio. This years Nerdapalooza is going to be especially crazy. They Might Be Giants will be there, along with Peelander-ZNerf HerderGreen Jelly, MC Frontalot, MC Lars, Powerglove, and our favorite assholes from Texas, Urizen! Help spread the word, and get tickets below:

OCTOBER
10th – Springfield, VA – Empire
11th – Richmond, VA - Kingdom
14th – Durham, NC - Motorco
15th – Columbia, SC - New Brookland Tavern
18th – Gainesville, FL - High Dive
19th – Orlando, FL – Nerdapalooza
21st – Atlanta, GA - Vinyl

NOVEMBER
01st – Nashville, TN – Mercy Lounge (Terminator: The Second release show)

We see an inordinate amount of people whining on the internet that they didn’t know about a show that happened in their town the night before, or that they almost missed the show because they heard about it that day. So naturally, I usually berate them for an hour or so about not being on the mailing list, or not following our Facebook and Twitter accounts, but there’s a “new way.” Here’s the deal. Everyone that likes bands and also has a smartphone should take a look at/download BandsInTown. Take a guess at what it does… give up? It gives you updates for when your favorite bands are in town! It also sends reminders the day before the show happens. Aside from that whole “camera on your phone staring back at you at all times, and tracking your every movement” thing… technology is wonderful!

I can’t say a great deal about this next part right now, but if you go to Terminator: The Second’s website to watch the official trailer (including some Protomen!) on Monday at around 10amCST, you’ll catch the drift that I’m drifting your way. I will say it’s pretty awesome, so don’t miss out.

Parting is such sweet sorrow,

-Commander

Back In Time.

So, we made it back from Australia in one piece (well, 9 pieces). Needless to say, it was an amazing trip. We’d like to thank everyone that made it out to our shows down there. And we’d especially like to thank everyone who helped us get down there and actually make it all happen (Yug at PAX Aus, Mike from Bird’s RobeMana Bar, Brett Tollis… our official Australian sound guy, Toehider, MC Frontalot, and Jack at Shiny Entertainment).

Even though it was an amazing trip where we met a lot of awesome people, played some great shows, ate some of the best food we’ve ever eaten, and saw all kinds of fancy Australian things, we did have to ride around in this stupid looking turd box for nearly two weeks…

Stupid Van

…and we’ll carry those scars for the rest of our lives.

We were supposed to be getting like a sweet Black Sabbath (or something equally as tough) painted van, but at the last second it turned into high scooby doo. To be fair, it did the job it was supposed to do and Wicked Campers did save us a lot of money on rentals, but come on… could it look any dumber? So, we’re equal parts praising and cursing Wicked. The interesting thing was the fact that if we were driving around in America in that monster, we’d have been pulled over  and harassed every three miles. But there are no cops in Australia and the streets are paved with meat pies!  Or… the cops just have better things to do than harass poor souls riding around in an ugly van… like fighting highway marauders that terrorize the roads in awesome death machines, looking for that precious juice!

And to all you people who told us that it was a fools errand to drive from Melbourne to Sydney at night, and that we’d certainly die on the highway because of the sheer volume of kangaroos, wombats, and other assorted wasteland critters jumping out in front of us…… shut your mouths. We didn’t see one shittin’ thing on that trip! You had us so damned excited to see (and run over) awesome Australian wildlife, and we saw absolutely nothing. Talk about a ferocious letdown. Kilroy wept so hard that his milk dried.

So even though we had a great time down there, I’m now 100% certain that Australia has no wildlife. In fact, we didn’t eat any Kangaroo until we were sitting on the beach in LA. That being said, kangaroo burgers are pretty strange.

I’d like to take a second to shine a spotlight on one courageous soul. The following dude (who’s name we’ll never know) won the prize for being the only person to come to every one of our Australian shows. Looks like the rest of you Aussies are a bunch of slackers! What was the prize, you ask?

winner

Panther’s aviators and my clip-ons. He was promptly run over by a car, because he couldn’t see a damned thing when he walked out of the venue.  R.I.P., Dude Who Came To All Of Our Australian Shows… R.I.P.

AUSTRALIAN MERCH STORE (WORLDWIDE ONLINE STORE)
If you missed out on our Australian merch while we were there, or if you’re from somewhere else in the world and want one of those sweet Protomen Australia Camp shirts, today is your lucky day. Our Australian online store is now live. We’ve also added the new merch link on our website. You can get all manner of limited edition stuff (like Kangaroo Camp shirts, Postcards, Signed Australia Tour posters, and iPhone Cases, and the original Protomen logo shirt that hasn’t been around for a while), so get it before it’s all gone!

Limited Aus Items

THE FUTURE
Let’s switch gears and talk about America for a bit. We just added a few awesome shows in the next month or so, and you should know about them. We added Denver, Portland, Vancouver, and Seattle. A few more may be on the way, so keep your good ear to the ground.

AUGUST
09th – Cincinnati, OH – Indie Summer Series (Fountain Square) *FREE*
10th – Nicholasville, KY – The Pocket  *+18*
24th – Denver, CO – Moon Room
27th – Portland, OR – Hawthorne Theatre 
28th – Vancouver, BC – Biltmore Cabaret
30th – Seattle, WA – PAX Prime  (Paramount Theatre) **show day**
31st – Seattle, WA – PAX Prime  **hanging out**

SEPTEMBER
01st – Seattle, WA - PAX Prime  **hanging out**
02nd – Seattle, WA – El Corazon

As usual, follow/like us on our Facebook, Twitter, and Tour Pages for any last minute changes to schedule (and other announcements that may come between mailers). If you’re doing the Facebook thing, be sure you’ve done this: **click on “liked” and make sure “get notifications” and “show in news feed” are checked.

We’ve got some stuff to tell you about in the next mailer, so strap on your strap ons… anybody out there like Terminator and/or Shakespeare?

-Commander

 

 

Updates From The Future.

We’re so deep up in Australia right now, it’s ridiculous. PAX Aus was amazing. We’ve been driving around Melbourne for days now, in a really stupid looking van, on the wrong side of the road. We’ve eaten a shit load of bad ass meat pies. We’re in a really awesome hostel right now with nothing but hot girls everywhere. And we’ve eaten more fancy lollies and chock chocks (read: candy and chocolate… even though I don’t think Australians say “chock chocks”… I just want them to) than should be legally allowed. All that being said, I’ve decided that  Australia rules.

But the fun doesn’t stop there. We haven’t even seen any kangaroos, wombats, or Mel Gibson… yet. We’ve got about another week to make it all happen, so don’t forget that we’ve got 4 more fancy Aus shows (along with MC Frontalot!) while we’re here.  And remember… the likelihood of our return is directly proportional to the attendance at these final 4.  No pressure, Australia!

JULY
23rd – Melbourne, AU - Evelyn Hotel (Act I)  *+18*
24th – Melbourne, AU - Evelyn Hotel (Act II)  *+18*
27th – Sydney, AU – The Standard   *+18*
28th – Sydney, AU - Annandale Hotel  *+18*

When we get back to the USA of America, we’ll be playing a couple more shows on the West coast before heading back home. That’s you, Anaheim and San Francisco! If you live anywhere near these areas, you should do your best to get there. This will probably be the last time we get out that direction this year.

AUGUST
01st – San Francisco, CA – Slim’s  *ALL AGES*
03rd – Anaheim, CA – Chain Reaction  *ALL AGES*
05th – Oklahoma City, OK – The Conservatory  *ALL AGES*
09th – Cincinnati, OH – Indie Summer Series @ Fountain Square  *FREE*
10th – Nicholasville, KY – The Pocket  *+18*

The limited edition Australia merch is going fast, so if you’re coming to the shows, grab what you can, when you can. Anything left over on the 28th will go to our new Aus store, and will be available to purchase worldwide. A new Australian Store link will pop up on our website on July 29th.   *EDIT 07/29/13* So it turns out the Australian store won’t go live until Aug 5th. Sorry for the confusion.

So even though we haven’t met Yahoo Serious, AC/DC, Icehouse, Olivia Newton-John, Paul Hogan, or John Farnham, we did see Gotye hanging out backstage at PAX before our show! But I don’t think he  stuck around to watch us play because we were too weird looking.

Now he’s just somebody that we saw at our show.

-Commander

 

July, July!

Firstly, I’d like to thank everyone that was able to make it to our show with Andrew W.K. in Covington a few weeks ago.  And also a big thanks to Andrew W.K. for having us. It couldn’t have been more fun. Well, ok. It could have been more fun. There was no slip n’ slide. Even still, it was just about as fun as it could have been without a slip n’ slide, so I’d say it was a mostly successful party time.

JULY AND BEYOND
So in early July we’ll be driving our way West to hop on a plane in LA that goes to the fancy upside down world of Australia, AU. It looks like we’ll be playing some rock and roll shows on our way out there, so get your asses ready Southwest. Since we’re on a mission to get to Aus, we only have a handful of US shows to announce, but we may have a few more pop up on the way there and back (keep an eye on our Facebook, Twitter and Tour pages). With that being said… do all you LA people remember that last Roxy show? It was absolutely nutballs. Well, get ready, because here comes round 2. You seriously don’t want to miss this one. Joining us that night will be Daikaiju and Sugarplum. We’ll also be making our way back to the lovely hot land of Phoenix (joined by our good friends, The Minibosses and Mega Ran) and the glorious whale’s vagina, San Diego (joined by our good enemies, The Megas, as well as our new friends, Daikaiju). And just added a couple of days ago is the always luxurious Austin, TX (joined by our Texan brothers, Urizen) at the even more luxurious Red 7. If you live in the affected areas (or know someone there), start spreading the news!

As most of you already know, PAX Australia has been sold out for quite a while now. And I know most of you have shorted out your computers with all your cry baby tears falling into your keyboards. Well, you can now stop crying all over your valuable electronics. I’ve got good news. Now that we’ve finally got them booked, we can officially announce that we have a couple other shows in Melbourne right after PAX. We’re playing Act I on the 23rd and Act II on the 24th at Evelyn Hotel (along with some other tough jams). Not only that, but we’ll be making our way up the coast to Sydney so we can play a couple (or few) shows there before jumping on a plane to head back to the States.  The Sydney shows won’t be Act I and Act II, but don’t fret… every show we play in Australia will have drastically different set list, so do your best to make it to all of them, because you won’t see the same thing twice (also, who knows if we’ll ever be allowed to come back??!)!

And to celebrate our first trip down there, we decided to put together the most appropriate T-shirt design we could think of (that’s one bad ass kangaroo).

WintersummerCampAus - WHITE

WintersummerCampAus - BLACK

This limited run of Protomen Australian Summer Camp ringer T-shirts is being printed only in Australia. If there are any left over when it’s time to head back to the US, we’ll drop them off at our new Australian online store for worldwide sale (we’ll also have Australia specific versions of some of our other existing designs, as well… more on that later). Now, I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking, “… but, Commander B. Hawkins, it’s Winter in Australia right now. You can’t have Summer Camp in the winter.” Shut your mouth. I don’t want to hear any of your backtalk. We say when it’s summer camp time. And when we go to Australia, it’s gonna be summer camp time. Deal with it. We’ll just call it the the WinterSummer Camp Tour 2013.

Also, we’re extremely happy to announce that we’ll be joined by our good friend MC Frontalot on every one of our Australian shows! Tell everyone you’ve ever known… and then tell all the strangers you’ve never known. We’ll need all the support you can muster.

JULY
09th – Austin, TX - Red 7  *ALL AGES*
11th – Phoenix, AZ - Pub Rock  *ALL AGES*
12th – San Diego, CA - Soma  *ALL AGES*
13th – Los Angeles, CA - The Roxy  *ALL AGES*
19th – Melbourne, AUS – PAX Aus (no show/hanging out)
20th – Melbourne, AUS – PAX Aus (show day)
21st – Melbourne, AUS – PAX Aus (no show/hanging out)
23rd – Melbourne, AU - Evelyn Hotel (Act I)  *+18*
24th – Melbourne, AU - Evelyn Hotel (Act II)  *+18*
27th – Sydney, AU - The Standard   *+18*
28th – Sydney, AU – Annandale Hotel  *+18*

We’re gonna meet John Farnham, Olivia Newton John, Icehouse, and AC/DC!!! (not really)

-Commander

 

Ten Years Of Protomen.

10years

It’s been nearly 10 years since this death train started rolling, and if you’ve ever seen the late Tony Scott’s 2010 film, Unstoppable, you’ll know that it’s gonna take both Chris Pine and Denzel to stop us… and neither one of those dudes even know we exist. Nothin’s gonna stop us now! To celebrate, we’re throwing a super fancy birthday party for ourselves at Mercy Lounge this Saturday (27th). It’s gonna have all the exciting things that a good 10 year old birthday party should have (except rollerskating… maybe next time we’ll have a Jimmy Caan Rollerball party!). Come for the free cake, ice cream, balloons, face painting, and piñatas… stay for the rock and roll excitement! Get your tickets here, and get them quick… people like ice cream and balloons. And if any of you bring Chris Pine or Denzel to our show, we’ll kick your ass.

APRIL
27th – Nashville, TN - Mercy Lounge (Ten Years Of Fury) **18+

Joining us on Saturday is the always amazing Makeup And Vanity Set and our long time friends (but first time show-mates… sort of) Hanzelle! But speaking of Makeup And Vanity Set… if you haven’t already checked out his/their (he just got a super good drummer) new EP, you should do so immediately. It’s really freaking good. Listen/Buy it here.

Also, the super fancy 10 year anniversary poster you see above will be on sale at the show on Saturday. It was put together by Caspar at Version Industries and will look very nice on your wall or in your cubicle. As usual, if any survive the night, they’ll go on sale at the Sound Machine Store the following morning (Sun. 28th) at 11:59am CST.

Protomen with Andrew W.K.!
In case you somehow missed it in the last mailer, we’re finally getting to play a show with Andrew W.K. at the end of next month in Covington, KY (Cincinnati area)! It’s going to be amazing, and you should be there to bask in the party. Get tickets before they’re gone.

MAY
26th – Covington, KY – Madison Theater (with Andrew W.K.) **ALL AGES

AUSTRALIA 
If you haven’t gotten your PAXAus passes yet… guess what. You’re shit out of luck. They’re super sold out.

The good news is… we’re gonna play more Australia shows besides PAX! We’ll give you more info on that as soon as we can. Until then, start spreading the word down there. We’ll need all the support you can muster. We’ll also need a pet wombat. Get ready.

JULY
19th – Melbourne, AUS – PAX Aus (show date TBA)
20th – Melbourne, AUS – PAX Aus (show date TBA)
21st – Melbourne, AUS – PAX Aus (show date TBA)

*more shows for Australia on the way. Stay tuned.

You can’t make me quit,

-Commander

Never Let Down.

So, we’re about a week into this tour and it’s been some kind of good. Birmingham was great, SXSW was fun, and Knoxville was fancy, but I’m not writing this mailer just to tell you how much fun we’ve already had. I’m writing this mailer to tell you how much more fun we’re GOING to have. On top of the already great lineup of shows we have coming up, a few new shows have been confirmed since the last mailer and it’s time to tell you about them. *Note – If you’re sad that we’re not playing your town, believe me, we’ve shed just as many cry baby tears. But remember that the only way for us to someday get to your town is by playing shows in other towns.

Don’t forget that we’re playing at Andrew W.K.s Santos Party House tomorrow night. It’s seriously one of the most fun venues that we play, so don’t miss out. If you haven’t already gotten your tickets, get on it. They may be gone by tomorrow. And I know this one doesn’t count as a newly announced show, but you’ll soon see that it works as an acceptable segue, so deal with it.

Speaking of Andrew W.K…. (see that segue?? like butter.)
We’re opening for him in Covington, KY (Cincinnati-ish) on May 26th! We’ve been wanting to play with him since we started this band. And I’m not talking about playing kickball or something (we already did that with him in 2004… while blasting a newly mixed “Hope Rides Alone” over a big PA system. Looking back, it seems really strange, but I’d like to think it made us all better people). I’m talking about playing a fancy show with him, and it looks like it’s about to happen. And if you get tickets right now, you can save a couple dollars by entering the following code on the ticket page: theprotomen

That code is only going to work for a very limited time, so get on it quick and spread the word!

MAY
26th – Covington, KY – Madison Theater (with Andrew W.K.) **ALL AGES

TEN YEARS PARTY
On April 27th, 2003, we were balls deep in the studio writing, recording, mixing, and then releasing a little ditty called “Fade To Phil.” That little ditty turned out to be “Due Vendetta.” It’s been ten long years since that fateful Dodge’s Chicken filled night when we inadvertently started this band, and we thought we’d advertently celebrate those ten years on April 27th at Mercy Lounge in Nashville. Tickets aren’t available yet, but keep your schedule clear for that day. It’s going to be one hell of a thing. I’ll probably let you know on this mailer machine, but just in case, pay some attention to our Facebook and Twitter situations.

27th – Nashville, TN – Mercy Lounge (Ten Years Of Fury)

Another show that’s appeared since the last mailer is the PAX After Party with MC Frontalot, Bright Primate, and The World Is Square. The one last year was amazing, and this one looks like it’s going to be even better. Live it.

Here’s the full list of shows. Get tickets before they’re gone.

MARCH
20th – New York, NY – Santos Party House
22nd – Boston, MA – PAX East (show day)
23rd – Boston, MA – PAX East (hanging out)
24th – Boston, MA – Middle East (PAX Afterparty)
26th – Danbury, CT – Heirloom Arts
27th – Teaneck, NJ – Mexicali Live
29th – West Chester, PA – The Note
30th – Pittsburgh, PA – Altar Bar *All Ages
31st – Cleveland, OH – Beachland Tavern

APRIL
02nd – Toronto, ON – The Hoxton
03rd – Ann Arbor, MI – Blind Pig
04th – Grand Rapids, MI – The Pyramid Scheme
05th – Indianapolis, IN – Old National Centre
07th – Chicago, IL – Lincoln Hall
09th – Dekalb, IL – The House Café
10th – Madison, WI – High Noon Saloon
11th – Minneapolis, MN – 7th Street Entry *18+
12th – Eau Claire, WI – No Brand Con (show day)
13th – Eau Claire, WI – No Brand Con (Q&A day)
14th – St. Louis, MO – 2720 Cherokee
27th – Nashville, TN – Mercy Lounge (Ten Years Of Fury)

MAY
26th – Covington, KY – Madison Theater (with Andrew W.K.) **ALL AGES

JULY
19th – Melbourne, AUS – PAX Aus (show date TBD)
20th – Melbourne, AUS – PAX Aus (show date TBD)
21st – Melbourne, AUS – PAX Aus (show date TBD)

See you soon,

-Commander