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A Whiskerino Theme Tune

Please listen to this track on devices that care for fury and facial hair in a production.

The Protomen - Beards Going Nowhere

In this city you hold on as tightly as you can
You don't take anything for truth
It's like walking on the razor's edge
And everything around you is crumbling, girl
You only have to look around for proof

When I was younger, things were different
When a man was allowed to be a man
But I grew up too fast, like I was racing with the devil
I've felt the blade so many times
Emily girl, won't you take my hand

And we'll ride

Across the barren face of this desert road
You set my wheels on fire
I'll rev my engine till the sound is just deafening
Emily girl, I swear
We'll make it out of this wasteland

I know you worry the way that things are gonna turn out
It seems this city doesn't love the man with a beard
They say a man has to give up the very thing he loves here
But I will not live like that
No, I will not live in fear.

And I will not let them take it from me
No matter how hard they'll try
Most men, when they have a knife to their chin
They'd rather give up than die
So many faces bare
So many faces so cold
Just hold on to me
We can weather the night behind my whiskers girl
We can get out of town before we both get too old

And we'll ride

And when the engine gives out we won't worry
We know how we'll get by
We'll catch the wind with the hairs on my chin
And then we'll take to the sky
We'll say hello to the angels in heaven (Sup Girl)
And then we'll pass heaven by
We've got better things to do with our lives
Than shave our faces and die

Don't give up
Don't give in
Without a beard you will never win

But girl Its time for me to go
Where only a man can go
My heart is on fire and if I don't feed it fast it'll just burn up and fade
I love you girl, you've got to know that
You'll be so proud of me
You'll watch me hop on my pegasus, girl
10,000 angels singing for me as I ride my pegasus through the city, to the edge of the city, and then out of the city and into the fields
Fields thick and strong like the beard that I'll grow
You'll watch as I ride through the night
You'll see, I'll set the night on fire with my burning heart and my glorious man-beard
And everyone will love me and I'll finally be a man
I'll finally be a man.